Thoughts & More

Today was another day at work for me. It was a good, busy day for me, and also provided me with some thoughts. So far in my life I have never had a patient die that I was taking care of (even while working as a CNA). Honestly, I am not looking forward to the day that happens to me. Today I had a patient that was not doing as well later in the day. I was provided with the opportunity to use my critical thinking skills and do some assessments and call the doctor and tell him what I thought was going on. The initial response I got from the doctor was that the patient was just a mess. My thought: "I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR PERSONAL OPINION - YOU ARE THE DOCTOR, LET'S DO SOMETHING!" It made me upset. I've always thought of my patients as human beings created by God for his purpose. They are not just "things" we are "figuring out" as health care professionals. It may have been true that the patient had a lot going on - but that doesn't mean we need to throw our hands up in the air and do nothing. Anyway - the doctor eventually gave me orders and we worked on getting the patient back on track. I could definitely tell the difference between the doctor coming in for a few minutes to just look at the patient and taking the time to talk to the patient and family.

This also provided me with thoughts about how I will handle patients dying while I am taking care of them. It is not just the fact that a person is dying - it is the fact that I have formed a relationship with this patient and the family members and have gotten to know them. I wonder if I care too much as a nurse and get too involved? I know it is good for my patients, it lets them know I care and helps them trust me, but it may not be good for myself emotionally. I guess I will just have to take that situation as it comes to me. I truly enjoy caring for others and it frustrates me when I cannot make their hurt go away or things are not going as planned. Part of that is probably my organized personality, wanting to make everything right and part of that is my caring attitude and not wanting my patients to hurt. I enjoy what I do, but I am learning it is not always easy.

I've been reading 1st Peter lately several times over. One verse that I have been reading over and over again is 1st Peter 1:7, "These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than pure gold. So when your faith remains strong though many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." For me these trials lately are represented by difficult things I go through at work, either dealing with patients, a diagnosis, doctors, or coworkers. Through these trials, my faith is made stronger as I daily rely on God for all my needs and turn to Him with everything. I hope to bring honor to God at work, even if I am going through trials.

Lots of deep thoughts for today. I had more, but now I don't remember. Hah. One lighthearted thing to end before I go eat my chocolate banana cream pie. :)

Brett and I have been married for a little over 3 years and it was just today that we found out that all this time Brett thought I did not like Sunny D, when in fact, I really like it! We had a "I can't believe this!" moment tonight in the grocery store. He's never bought it before because he thought I didn't like it and thought it was bad for us (which it probably is, but it still tastes good!) And I really do like it! We're looking forward to the future of learning more about each other and our likes and dislikes!



A blog post wouldn't be complete with out a picture of Marshmellow and Parker! Enjoy!